Dim Vista

Windows Vista: more than five years in the making, more than 50 million lines of code. The result? A vista slightly more inspiring than the one over the town dump. The new slogan is: “The ‘Wow’ Starts Now,” and Microsoft touts new features, many filched shamelessly from Apple’s Macintosh. But as with every previous version, there’s no wow here, not even in ironic quotes. Vista is at best mildly annoying and at worst makes you want to rush to Redmond, Wash. and rip somebody’s liver out.

Vista is a fading theme park with a few new rides, lots of patched-up old ones and bored kids in desperate need of adult supervision running things. If I can find plenty of problems in a matter of hours, why can’t Microsoft? Most likely answer: It did–and it doesn’t care.

Example: If malware somehow gets into your machine, Windows Firewall will not stop it from making outbound Internet connections to do its evil deeds. If you turn off that firewall in favor of a better one, the Windows Firewall control panel will admonish: “Your computer is not protected; turn on Windows Firewall.” But the Windows Security Center will correctly tell you that a firewall is on and that you shouldn’t run two at a time. Call it convistancy.

Gaffes like this make you wonder if security really is improved as much as Microsoft claims. You’ll still have to add your own antivirus software, a new Vista-ready version at that. And Vista’s irritating and repeated warnings about possible security breaches don’t always mean what they say and are usually irrelevant. You’ll take them as seriously as the boy who cried wolf, making them useless as defensive tools.

Ouch.